Transition periords are naturally common among men in their different ages. Ages 1 to 2, 5 to 6, 12 to 13, 17 to 19, 27 to 30 etc. In these periods men are facing transition in their lives. Even though it's natural function, how we live, how we react and how we adapt are playing important roles make us joyful or stressful in these periods. Transition periods in childhood time are not affected much the one's life, because he is with the parent's full control. But Age 12 to 13 is ridiculous; in this transition period adults face different experiences if they are in good matured conditions. In today's condition Age 12 - 13 is also like a child transition period. It's don't affect much in Childern's life. Because parents are not considered them as adults, growing up them as little children. Because of this 17 to 19 transition become more vulnerable for those who experience first.
In reality "Transition at 17 to 18 is the most joyful occasion once one can experience." It is a precious time of productive where he can learn and practice so many new things. In contrast, without the experience of 12 to 13 age transition in a proper way and without a proper guidance at 17 age, youngsters are struggling much. In this post, let's analyse what we can do in this period.
I. Family's Role:
As parents we might failed to focus on 12 - 13 age transition period of our sons. If we fail again in the transition period 17 to 19 age, they can go away and felt into different experiences. Because so much of resources they can access in this modern time.
1. Don't give Jail, Give the Space & Privacy
1. We may shock, is giving privacy necessary? We may think, Privacy leads them more dangerous. No, No. Privacy gives more positive changes in them. Giving space & privacy to adult make them, my parent have trust upon me. Gaining this trust is important.
2. Giving space and privacy make them to be a self-trained up adult. Help them to come out of their comfort zone into world.
3. In naturally, it's good to give them separate room for their work, study, sleeping. But, if the family doesn't have enough rooms, one's mind is not expect the seperate room, but he expects to be in privacy for sometime.
4. Giving separate room is not mean, son is not in the parents control. It's like that father was given up while teaching cycling or swimming. But father did not give up his focus on his child.
5. As per the Statics, hostelers have more experiences than day-scholars in facing life-situations. Because they learnt by so many trails, how to face such situations. It's help them to learn adjustment when go with crowd and to break social barriers.
2. Don't give Orders; Have Discussion
1. Orders make us distance, Discussion make a smooth relationship.
2. Until 12 age, we give so many orders and commands to children. It's a time to have discussion. Because they mentally have some maturity to discuss while at age 17. After discussing, make adult to take decision, not by yourself. If adult takes wrong decision against with Bible, have another discussion, make them correct understanding.
3. We need to be careful, Discussion is not to become arguments. We can not underestimate their values.
3. Don't give pressures, Give Realities
1. Modern day adults are not having such capacity and mentality to do so many things in a stimulated time. So our pressures become burden for them.
2. Instead of giving pressures, make them to understand their realities in finishing such works.
3. It's not good to raise our voice, and making them fearful are not good to feel better.
4. Don't ignore, keep in touch
1. Many of us think, they are becoming adult, they can. But in reality, as ages 1 to 5, in 17 - 19 ages also they need the touch of parents.
2. Even adults wishes to sleep at mother's lap, to touch their head. For this, give space for them.
3. It's not good to be acted like supervisor, but as doctor.
5. Don't compelling on chilly things, but precious things.
1. As parents, we are compelling our adults to be obey us in chilly things like hair style, dress code, outdoor games, vehicles using, friendship parties. In here, no need of compelling them. Giving freedom in these areas is good. (Medically if anything is not good, we can avoid them)
2. Instead of compelling them, make them feel better by explaining the truth and health care concern in such areas. Because their mentality is - Why this?
3. As parents, we need to focus on their precious things like character, behaviours and socialization. Because this transition time changes in behaviour reflects until their death.
4. 4. And also parents are responsible for the friendship circle, using the phone, laptop or any other addicted things. We need to guide them properly.
Finally dear parents, A thread in your (parents) hand, but your child as kite is in the sky. So, make them to fly, but, don't give up the thread. it's a time of rejoicing, so make your adults to enjoy this wonderful occasion of age 17 to 19 Transition. This joyful time will not come again any age.
Part 2 (Adult's Role) will be continued in next series.
Written by
Meyego
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