THE ART OF SAYING “NO”
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of our hearts, be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, our Rock and our Redeemer. Amen.”
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Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, Greetings to you all in the name of Jesus Christ. All of us are familiar with the two words “Yes” and “No”. Between these, which word is the hardest to use? As per the psychological statistics, many people feel guilty to say “No”. Because, certain amount of courage is needed to say it. Though it consist just two letters, it makes it all the more complicated in its usage. Whenever anyone asks us to do almost anything, we might say, Yes! Sure! almost readily. But in reality, we may feel and wonder why we agreed in the first place.
Many of us hesitate to say “No”, even when we know for sure that we are just too busy to take anything additional. People-pleasers and those who do not want to upset others, hardly opt to say “No” and then give into stress. Therefore, it is always good to master the art of saying “No” without impairing the existing relationship. Do you know, that saying “No” establishes boundaries and limits stress by a huge margin? Today, I am going to share on the theme, “THE ART OF SAYING NO.” What are the areas where we can effectively say “No”? How can we approach others without regrets? Let me quickly share three things from the Holy Bible.
First, SAY NO TO TEMPTATIONS
We live in a world that is filled with temptations and distractions that can distort our true image and our focus of what we actually want to become. Trials and temptations are inevitable in our lives. We live in a world full of temptations that seems more realistic than imaginary. By saying “Yes”, are we going to compromise with this world? Or, Are we courageous enough to say “No” to remain faithful to our Lord?
The best example is the life of Joseph, a handsome young man (Gen 39). The biblical accounts describe how Potiphar’s wife repeatedly tried to tempt Joseph. Even though he was a slave, he said “No” to her. How could Joseph say “No” boldly? The closer proximity he had with God gave him the enormous courage that was just needed to say “No”. Proximity with God refers to the close relationship we share with God. Joseph paid a huge price for doing the right thing. He was thrown in jail. But in the end, God rewarded him for his excellent character in saying “No” to temptations. Are we able to say “No” to temptation when the situation arises? Do we have a close proximity with God? If we have that personal relationship that is needed, with God, we can easily say “No” to temptations.
Second, SAY NO TO TIME-KILLERS
I have seen very many people who have become “Yes machines.” Every one of us here have limited time, energy and resources. Saying “Yes” to everything can damage our physical and mental health, weaken our relationships and lead to spiritual brokenness. What about us? If we say “Yes” to everything and everyone, we cannot manage our time perfectly and we will finally end up with bitterness.
The perfect example is the life of Jesus. Not even Jesus said “Yes” at all times. There were many times when Jesus himself deliberately chose to say “No” (Mark 8:12; Luke 10:54; John 2.4; 7:8, etc.). It is a hard truth indeed! Jesus was quite generous with his time, energy and resources. Jesus strategically set his boundaries and only let the mission of the Father drive his life forward, not once did he give into the desires of the crowd. How could Jesus say “No” boldly? His main focus on his purpose that is, the will of God. The work that was given to him by the Father urged him to do God’s will alone. So, he did not waste his time on other unnecessary matters.
Once, one of our college alumnus shared his college experience in the following manner. He said, I could find no time to read the Bible, because of my friends’ circle. The problem actually is not his friends as he claims, but his own weakness to say “Yes” to them at all times. We have our space to reason out to our friends as to why we cannot fulfill their requests. Let us think for ourselves. Can we boldly say “No” to our time-killers? If we understand the true purpose of our calling, we will graciously, yet effectively say “No” to time-killers.
Third, SAY NO TO TOXINS
What are toxins? Anything that is harmful to us are our toxins. We are facing a lot of situations in our day today life. Some things may either harm us or others. It is always good to be aware of our toxins so that we can easily evade them. Here are some of the toxins that I would like to mention for our betterment. It can be relationship, positions, works, regular activities or anything for that matter. Think twice before saying “Yes” to anything and most importantly say “Yes” only if it is in alignment with your visions. Before saying “Yes” to anyone, we have to ask ourselves, then to whom are we going to say “No”. We have to know the clear difference between temporary circles and close circles or spiritually intimate relationships. If we do not say “No” to others, we cannot say “Yes” to our close circles that are of primary importance.
The life of Jonathan is a good example (1 Sam 19- 2 Sam 1). He said “No” to his father King Saul who wanted to kill David, his intimate friend. Even though, Jonathan was next in line to become the rightful King after Saul, he did not like it. He did not want to go against the will of God and to harm his friend David. Because he knew pretty well to whom the first priority should be given. Jonathan’s ability to say “No” to position, shows how much he had sacrificed and came forward to help David and thereby was a key in fulfilling God’s will. Even though he could not receive anything from David, he was ready to help him. What about us? Do we really handle things carefully in such a way that we do not harm ourselves and others? Are we aware of giving the right priority to the right person? Let us be ready to say “No” to things that harm us and others.
Dear friends, let us examine ourselves. We are here in Serampore College, because God called us for a specific purpose. In a theological institution such as this, there can be a number of information overload wrongly called wisdom or hollow philosophies and so-called sound arguments that can compromise with the Gospel. We have to make a choice to either say “Yes” to it or a strong “No”. Either of it has severe consequences and we need to make a firm standpoint. What is our main duty here? Do we spend more time with God? Are we wasting our time with friends and games? Can we really say “No” to toxins that harm us? Are we succumbing to temptations? If we say “Yes” to anything and everything that do not align with our goals, we may deeply regret in the future, and alas it will be too late.
We can continue to ask such questions to ourselves before taking any decision. “Do I have the time and energy to do this? Is he or she in my priority list? Am I being used? Will it bring glory to God?” If not, let us be direct and bold to say “No” in a genuine manner. As for me, just like “Yes”, “No” is equally healthy and a beautiful word too. Because saying “No” in a prayerful and careful way leads to freedom, joy and health. It also enables us to say “Yes” to what God says that matters most. If our relationship with God is deep and healthy, we can say “No” or “Yes”, as God directs us.
We have learnt how we can say no from the lives of Joseph, Jonathan and Jesus who had proximity, priority and purpose. If we have proximity with God, we can say no to Temptations. If we have purpose in our lives, we can say no to Time-killers. If we have the right priority, we can say no to Toxins. Let me read Matthew 5.37, Jesus said “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ be ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” So, let us live our lives for the glory of God alone and not for anyone else. May the good Lord mould us and strengthen us to say “Yes” or “No” according to his will. The blessing of God be with you all.
Let us and think and commit ourselves to the Lord. Dear friends, we are called to be God’s people showing his grace by our lives. Let us surrender ourselves to God.
All to Jesus I surrender,
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all,
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Saviour,
I surrender all
All to Jesus I surrender,
Make me Saviour wholly Thine
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.
Acknowledgement
This sermon is delivered by Meyego in Serampore College on 11th August, 2022.
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